The Physical Manifestations of the Relationships

A relationship between individuals exists in many forms and is a complex interaction between the physical, emotional, and intellectual. As different degrees of a relationship exist, so do the ways in which people react during a relationship.

The actions between acquaintances is less than that of close friends, which differs from that of those involved in a love relationship. Conversations relay details to the world about the relationship between individuals, but unless something is being openly discussed with other friends or is accidentally overheard, the closeness between two people might not be shown as purely as when they interact together alone. This goes for friendships in addition to love relationships, as it is easier to confide or discuss when two are isolated and in a nonjudgmental environment. The physical manifestation in a love relationship can be easy to recognize but can vary depending on the couple, the length of their relationship, and the way that they are feeling at any given moment. A couple who just had an argument before going to dinner to meet friends will display a coldness or edginess toward each other and physical proximity is more distant then typical because both are still upset about the altercation that just occurred.

In the opposite sense, when a couple is feeling joyous and playful, the physical manifestation of their relationship might be holding hands, quick kisses, hugging, or little specialized words that leave others confused, or the use of pet names. Some couples engage in all types of physical manifestation in public while some limit their use of public displays and save it for a later and more appropriate setting.

Physical manifestations in a friendship are very different from that of a love relationship, but there are certain characteristics that exist, just in a differing degree. Friends might share close conversations, small jokes or names between them that others do not understand, and show emotons of an intense level. Friends can get angry and even have a physical altercation in some circumstances.

A friend who is grieving might be comforted by a hug from a friend who wishes they could do more to help. A hug could also be a greeting, as can a special handshake. Nicknames tend to grow out of special, personal circumstances between the two individuals and can be an affectionate reference. Each culture tends to have their own acceptable practices in relationships and marriage that may not exist elsewhere.

To judge the degree of closeness between two individuals, an open observation can reveal much. It does not take a psychological expert to interpret the relationships that exist between people. A couple who are beginning to explore a love relationship will carry their apprehension and nervousness between them with the occasional expression of affection. A couple in this early phase of a relationship will venture a kiss or a quick squeeze of the hand due to their uncertainty about the feelings of their partner.

After this initial nervousness, when the couple becomes mor certain about the feelings of the other person, a more comfortable sort of physical manifestation occurs and the couple might openly hold hands or kiss with confidence at this stage in the relationship, and many couples at this point tend to show off, to the point of nauseation of bystanders. Finally, a level of trust and deeper feelings replaces this superficial display and the couple is close, and the physical attraction is still there but not so imperative to show off.

The workings of a friendship are not unlike that of a love relationship. There are the initial uncertainties, then a level of trust that must be built. The ways in which affection is shown may vary from that of a love relationship, but can exist in ways that love relationships cannot. It can be easier to talk to a friend about deep issues and painful experiences, and to seek comfort from a friend. It can be easier to confide, trust, comfort, and understand in a close friendship than in any other type of relationship.

A hug in a friendship can mean more than any other expression in any other type of relationship.The basis of a friendship is usually the most genuine expression of a person's personality. In the ideal relationship, a lover can also be a best friend.

Love Is a Way of Being

Love isn't something that someone causes us to feel, but a state of being that we experience whenever we are fully present in the moment to whatever or whomever is showing up. Love is our natural state, and we experience our natural state whenever the chattering mind is quiet or simply ignored. This state of being is one of peace, acceptance, and love.

The only thing that can interfere with experiencing the love of our true nature is absorption in our thoughts and any feelings generated by those thoughts. When we are lost in our mental and emotional world, we miss out on reality, on the real experience of this moment. In our mental world, thoughts about life substitute for real life. When we drop out of these thoughts about ourselves and how our life is going, life can be experienced more purely, and when it is, love naturally flows to whatever or whomever we are experiencing.

Love is a way of being with others. When we are attentive, curious, and interested in others, love naturally flows to them from inside us. This outward flow of love is the experience of love. This flow of love is not dependent on who or what is in front of us, on what someone is doing, or on whether someone is being loving toward us, but on whether we are fully engaged with and accepting of that person and whatever is happening in the moment. Love is a state of being that is activated by giving attention to something or someone.

Many of us experience an absence or lack of love because we are giving our attention to thoughts about life instead of real life. When we give attention to our thoughts about life, we are loving our mental world, and that mental world isn't real, and it is very often a negative world, where nothing and no one is ever good enough.

When we are invested in this mental world, our conditioned beliefs, judgments, fears, desires, and expectations seem really important, and these are what cause problems in our relationships.

We think we need people to be a certain way for us to love them and be happy with them, but that just isn't true. It just seems true because we tend to choose to love those who look and do things the way we want.

But love doesn't have to be limited in this way. We can choose to love even when others aren't meeting our desires or fitting our fantasies and expectations.

Our conditioned ideas and desires are not more important than love, unless we allow them to be, which is a recipe for difficulty in relationship. When we can move beyond our desires, needs, expectations, fantasies, and judgments, then love is possible with anyone at any time.

That doesn't mean you would choose to be in a relationship with just anyone, but it is possible to experience love in relating to anyone, since love comes from being interested in, attentive to, and accepting of someone, which is possible when we are not judging them or finding reasons to close our hearts to them and withdraw our interest and attention.

Love is something we have the power to experience because we have the power to give love. When we give love, we experience it; when we withhold it, we don't. The more we can overcome the judgments and other conditioning that cause us to withhold our love from others, the more we will experience love.

It is as simple as that, but not necessarily easy to put into practice. We tend to really believe our judgments and other ideas that cause us to close our hearts to others, but we don't have to. We can say no to the judgments and other conditioning that interfere with love.

When we do so, our experience of life is transformed. Love is readily available whenever we turn away from our judgments and negative conditioning and allow ourselves to be fully engaged with and interested in the real person in front of us.

8 Ways to Live a Powerful and Joyous Life

Sometimes it’s easier to play in someone else’s business or back yard instead of changing what needs to be changed in my own. Using the creative power to be a proactive participant in the people's life allows them to transcend their limitations and live in joy.

The following tips will allow you to shatter both internal and external barriers as well.

1. Honor and love yourself.

It’s impossible to love anyone more than you love yourself. It’s easy to love yourself when you feel good, look great and everyone cooperates. The real test comes with accepting your flaws, working with your shadow side and loving your humanness. I’ve learned to have compassion for the part of me that is greedy, inconsiderate and judgmental. Self-love allows me to heal these parts and move forward into a brighter light and deeper love for myself and others.

2. Become your own priority.

Pamper your body, mind and spirit. Take baby steps and begin to eat right and be impeccably groomed. Take scheduled breaks through out your day. Feed your mind with spiritual and inspirational information. You add beautiful, loving energy to our world as you learn to respect yourself.

I’ve recently decided to improve my exercise habits. Evita from Evolving Wellness has convinced me to eat healthier. I eliminated red meant from my diet 30 years ago. I’m now only eating fish, chicken and turkey (anything with a face) on weekends.

3. Stop comparing, competing, and criticizing.

As you eliminate draining little habits from your daily life your energy can flow freely into your dreams and happiness. Your role in life is like a puzzle piece that fits into the jigsaw puzzle of the universe, the world is incomplete without your unique self.

When I find myself stuck in the three “C’s” I know I’m off track. It only takes minutes to own my projections and move forward. I choose to live in the flow of life trusting myself with an open mind and heart.

4. Anchor your being in appreciation.

It’s a privilege to be alive at this time. I am grateful for the difficult lessons I’m learning from our economy, the oil spill, and the war. As I make inner changes, I see my exterior world change. In stead of focusing on the media and negativity I focus on the difference I can make.

Answers to our problems lie in each of us. Each morning I decide to “wake up and smell the day.” Life is precious, I won’t waste it wishing things were different. I choose to live more consciously. The individual changes we make will change the world.

5. Activate forgiveness.

Perfection in life is not required. We all do and say things we regret. I choose to learn from my mistakes. I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and others. Resentment and bitterness poison our mind, body and spirit. Forgiving others will take you out of the dark and into the light, that’s available always.

6. Record loving moments.

Keep a journal of the happiness, love and goodness you experience everyday. Focusing on love and good times increases love and good times. A journal of “good stuff” can be used as a great pick-me-up in difficult times. You’ll find there are infinite experiences to record. Be a part of seeing the best in every thing and every one. I’ve kept gratitude journals for eight years. I’m flooded with appreciation for my ordinary existence each time I reread one.

7. Set your intention.

Each morning set your intention for your day. “I intend to be patient today. I intend to be kind. I intend to live in the moment.” You choose your attitude, energy and direction. Consciously create the incredible and amazing life you desperately want. Resolve to choose the best for yourself. You’ll learn to brighten your own day!

8. Serve others.

There is a story about heaven and hell. In one room a pot of delicious stew sits in the middle of a big round table. The people at the table are holding unusually long handled spoons which made reaching their mouths impossible. They are thin, sick and weak. This room represents hell.

The next room also has a large table and a delicious pot of stew as well… The people around this table also hold long-handled spoons. However these people are plump, healthy and happy because they’ve learned to feed each other. This room represents heaven. Find someone to serve everyday. Expect nothing in return.

It’s easy to lose hope, blame others and feel victimized in our world. Yet, our power lies in establishing thoughts and habits of goodness and love. Imagine throwing your pebble of good thoughts and habits in the water. Yours connect to other like-minded good thoughts and habits. Soon you begin to notice and take part in a whole new world. And everyone will ask you, “How did you get so lucky?”